Listening But Not Listening: The Anupam Roy Sound Effect

So for the past few years or so it's been more like a routine. I can't sleep at night, I lie down and toss and turn and give up. I plug in my work and work and work. I try to sleep again. Get up again. By this time let me tell you, the entire family has been sleeping for a good three four hours at the least.

I give up. I do what I've been thinking of doing but pushing off. I plug in the music and head out for a a walk alone. The night is already all quiet by now and no one notices me. I walk and walk and walk, the music blaring loud in my ear, my head banging on to it, or sometimes shedding a tear. No one to watch you see..

Or sometimes
, the music sings on inside me, as I sit or stand on my balcony, looking out into the beautiful night sea. It's the most amazing feeling in the world I tell you. Standing there, head banging, shedding a tear, who knows...no one knows...no one is watching...

I tried to not plug in to Anupam Roy's music for the past few weeks, almost a couple of months actually. I resisted the crazy urge to listen, to feel the music. I knew how much it devours me and how much I love the feeling. I was trying to see if I could survive without it blending in my blood stream.

That music is still within me, very very much. I just can't get it out of my head, no I absolutely cannot.

And so...I go back to it again, no one watching.....

- Debolina Raja Gupta